Random
Yesterday I started importing some of my old posts. I still have about 300 to go, from one spot, and then whatever I’ve got on the laptop as well.
It’s weird to go back and re-read it all. I feel like such a different person now. It’s almost like reading someone else’s blog and getting to know them.
All of us at the Stupid Big House are getting really excited for the upcoming vacation cruise. We need the break away from work and stress and everything else going on in our lives. Add in lots and lots of great music, and we’ll all be feeling better.
I’ve been sarcastically referring to myself as “the root of all evil” lately. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to something I already knew, but that came up and smacked me in the face recently.
I always knew TOH’s parents didn’t like me, but I never realized just how much they didn’t like me. And how hypocritical they are. Blaming him for some of the same things they do. Passing judgement without knowing the whole story. And don’t even get me started on the selective memory issues. (’Cause then I’d have to start talking about my mother and her selective memory, and I’m just not going to go there.)
Maybe, if they’d called us once in a while, or asked us a question here and there, rather than ignoring me and my children for the last 20 years, they’d have a slightly different point of view. But, since I am such a bad influence, my children must be horrible people, too. Yeah, right. If you’ve met my children, you like them. I can’t think of anyone who has gotten to know my children and dislikes them.
If the kids didn’t like our last name, I’d be tempted to change it to my maiden name, just to be spiteful. But that’s a petty reaction, and I’m better than that.
TOH and I talked last night about our different reactions to this. He’s seeing the attack as directed at him, where I see it as directed at me. I look at the history of how I’ve been treated, and ask if his first wife was ever treated this way. She wasn’t. And she certainly wasn’t blameless in the breakup of the marriage. Meanwhile, I’ve been in this for the last 20 years (definitely through better or worse/sickness and health/richer or poorer), and we’re a stable family, with good jobs, a nice house, and well adjusted kids; and I’m the bad influence?
I mean, when you invite someone into your home for a visit, and they’re as nice as can be, and then you later find out it was a act? How are you supposed to feel? Happy? I don’t think so. How about deceived? Betrayed? Yeah, those will do for a start.
As I told TOH last night, I need some time to be mad about this. And then I’ll get over it and move on. In the grand scheme of life, this isn’t important at all. But right now, it pisses me off.