They Call Me Mum

Because I’m tired, lazy, and just plain unmotivated, I’m going with the bullet point format this go round.

• September 29th, Klumpen managed to get dinner lodged in her throat.  Not impeding her breathing, but preventing her from swallowing anything or retching up what was stuck.  This involved a trip to the local emergency room (thank you, TOH, for being a great dad and handling this) where they told her she was OK and sent her home.  I’ll admit to thinking she was just irritated and making more of the situation than was warranted.
• September 30th, after nearly 24 hours of not being able to swallow anything, Klumpen again went to the ER, but not the local one.  The doctors there tried several methods, but finally decided to sedate her and remove the blockage that way.  At about 4-ish a.m. on October 1, the doctor finally (going in at 3-ish, they said it would be about 1/2 an hour before they talked to me) came out and told me that they’d managed to remove everything blocking her esophagus, that it seems like there was some sort of “anomaly”, and there was a bit of bleeding, whether from the irritation of having food stuck there for 36 hours or from the “anomaly” they weren’t sure.  At about 6 a.m. they let me take her home.  I officially feel like the worst mother ever.
• Oh, by the way, work still sucks, even if the fiscal year is officially closed.
• October 1st, Klumpen was peeved that we wouldn’t be attending faire, but in her condition, there was no way I was letting her go up there and breathe dust all day long.
• October 2nd, we made it to faire, but I wouldn’t let Klumpen work.  Tryst spent part of the evening trying to make me laugh hard enough to snort, but the funniest comment had to be, “Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound like she’s laughing.” Which just made me laugh harder.  Klumpen, The Shackled One, Vree and I pressured Joe into trying on some velvet tights at Purple Unicorn.  (Not that we had to twist his arm very hard.)
• Again, work still sucks.  What part of “no purchases without prior approval” don’t you morons understand?
• October 5th, Klumpen had an endoscopy, to check things out.  They found a possible allergic reaction lesion, that they took samples of to biopsy, and dilated her esophagus to make things easier for her.  We need to follow up on the biopsy this week, and everything else next week.
• October 7th, TOH got a call from his son and found out that he (the son) got married on September 20th.  Yeah, nice of him to let us know.  Especially since TOH had called him on 9/16 to wish him a happy birthday.  I hope for his wife’s sake that he’s gotten his head out of his ass.
• That same night, my mother called to let us know she’d like to come visit, and needs directions to the new house.  Yeah, if she’d bothered to visit anytime in the previous (nearly) 10 months, she wouldn’t need directions.  Or hey, called us anytime before that to get directions just in case.  Or just called.  It’s not like she’s paying the fucking phone bill, now is it?
• Saturday, October 8th.  The entire family headed up to faire in the torrential downpours.  I was wearing my new cloak, but I need to raise the hem on it a couple of inches.  As it hangs now, it acts as a fantastic wick and draws the moisture from the ground into the cloak.  But, it wasn’t cold, and I was drunk, so I didn’t care much.  Not overly drunk, just well into tipsy the whole day.  I started off the day with a bit of rum/Mt. Dew mix, courtesy of the pretty-boy fairy, and then moved onto the HardCore Cider.  I probably embarrassed Klumpen’s ex-boyfriend by making him show his abs to every single woman I could find.  And I told the pretty-boy fairy in no uncertain terms that he is not to have sex with my daughter.  Most of the stage shows had to be cancelled because of the rain, so there wasn’t much to do except drink, and do a little shopping.  TOH™ made sure that I ate, so that I wouldn’t cross that line from tipsy to overly drunk.  Unlike a certain member of our pub crawl party who will remain nameless.  He knows who he is.  I have finally had the faire experience of dancing with Mike.  He’s a wonderful dancer, while I on the other hand have two left feet and they’re on backwards.  (Points if you can tell me what movie that’s from.)  TOH™ spoke with Sinnius Vice, as well, something he’d been trying to do since last season.  We ended up leaving at about 6:20 because we were all tired and soggy.  I’m sure someone else has a different point of view on Saturday, but this is my memory we’re going from here.
• Sunday, October 9th.  Back up to faire again.  It was no longer raining, but it was a horrid mud pit in some spots; especially around the White Hart.  We did a little more shopping, and TOH™ bought a Half Moon cloak.  It’ll fit both of us, so it will definitely get used.  We also watched Teatro di Pecorino Romano’s “Italian Wedding”, which I’ve seen a couple of times and thoroughly enjoyed.  Several of us also caught Barto’s last performance for this season; watching him work his way through a standard wire hanger is just bizarre.  I had a cider with Matt & Natalie, wishing them well on their wedding tomorrow, and got queasy watching Natalie “enjoy” her oyster shooters.  I also had to listen to vicious gossip from someone else about a friend; I never realized how much person A hates person B until then.  To which I replied that I’d never seen any evidence of anything she was referring to, and that I wasn’t going to get involved.  The Green Men performed the Harvest Blessing on Sunday as well, and I was given an acorn by one of them.  Not that I need any fertility, thank you.  Found that the pretty-boy fairy can drink hard liquor with no problem, but give him cider and he’s a lightweight.  He nearly ended up tied to a tree by his hair, and not by me, although it was a lot of fun to watch.  Daemon has a wonderfully engaging laugh, much like a little boy, which is totally at odds with his physical appearance.  I am all about the eye-candy lately.  Most of these statements are unrelated.  Heck, this is pretty much a stream-of-consciousness ramble at this point.
• Yesterday, after dropping TSM off at daycare, I went home and bummed around the house for the morning.  Then I had a nap.  Then Klumpen and I went to see Kaiser Chiefs, Weezer and Foo Fighters.  Most excellent show, even if I wanted to kill the bitch that cut us off in the parking lot.  Haven’t you people ever fucking heard of taking turns?

So, that’s pretty much the last couple of weeks in a nutshell.  Or nuthouse, as the case may be.  Coming up, a visit from my mother and Shakespeare weekend at faire.